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Dear Patron #55

Dear Patron,

Sunday I told you it was my last day of work. What I didn’t tell you is that I’ll miss all my friends at work, most of the upper management, and I hope that eventually you learn about the tyranny that goes on behind the scenes of our restaurant.

Thank you for reading,

The Waitress

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Dear Patron #53

Dear Upper Management,

Today I yelled back at you. You attempted to tell me I shouldn’t do that and then said I was one of your favorite employees. What the hell? I’m so confused.

What?

The waitress

 
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Posted by on April 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Dear Patron #52

Dear Patrons,

Today you are my heroes. Tomorrow you shall not be but today you are! Stand gloriously in the triumph that you have undoubtably earned!! Cue the “for he’s a jolly good fellow” tune and hum along as I take you dear reader on the journey of my new heroes. It was a deathly hot day, not unusual for Texas…., but nevertheless deathly hot. I was waiting tables outside in my long sleeved shirt, you read that right, ohhhh the heat!!! Anyways, I was waiting tables like I normally do when they came in, walking like a character in a slow motion scene they walked to the nearest table and sat down, hair blowing in the breeze made by the loud ass fans. We locked eyes. That’s when I knew it. That’s when I knew they wanted me to take their order. Stat. I fly to their rescue with the grace of an elephant and shout out triumphantly, “may I take your order?”. They order. And then it happened. The foe of all foes decided to show up. You may know him as, The Red Wasp! Out he flew with his little buzzing sound that was trying to keep up behind his massive 1″ wings! I began to hear the sounds of an airaide as he came towards me, my legs began to quivver and I began to do a little dance, freestlye if you will, deathly afraid of my enemy. Closer he flew, and then even closer than the last closer! All of a sudden….whack!!!!! It happened so quickly I couldn’t think of what I had just witnessed. The Red Wasp had been killed by my new patrons with a single wepon. The Dinner Menu! We high-fived in triumph and I basked in their glory. Then I turned slowly to the members and said, “I’ll be back…….with your drink order….”

Thanks for killing the wasp, I don’t like them…

The Waitress

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Dear Patron #51

Dear coworker,

I never write about a coworker but I was very impressed by the interesting fact you gave me today. I was not aware that if you high five a person while starring at their elbow you never miss. Saweet!

The waitress

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2012 in service industry, waitress

 

Dear Patron #50

Dear you know who…..,

Please do not belittle somebody who is higher up on the totem pole than I in front of me. That’s just rude. Especially when you are yelling at them about something they had nothing to do with.

sincerely,

Your humble servant…

The waitress

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Dear Patron #49

Dear Patron,

Ha! You’re soooo funny. What does a grape say when you step on it??? Oh it wines? Hahahahahaha wow let me put up with some of your lame yet semi funny jokes. For an hour and a half I took your order and waited on you while you told me joke after joke. I loved hearing them don’t get me wrong, however, don’t say “for double the tip!…..’joke…..’” and then not tip me! As if dealing with your buddy wasn’t hard enough you tease me with a tip and then don’t let me have it? Seriously that’s just rude. When I say deal with your buddy I mean, he needs to get a clue. He ordered a caeser salad with blue cheese dressing. When I asked if he was sure it was a caeser that he wanted he said, “oh you know, however it comes!” with caeser dressing…..sir….a caeser salad comes with caeser dressing….

the waitress

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Dear Patron #48

Dear Patron,

Would you like something to drink? Here let me prop your feet up for you. A snack? Sure! How about I wipe your a** for you to while I’m at it. I know that sounds rude but today I was doing my job and discussing something with my manager. Instead of calling my name or simply saying excuse me, you remain sitting at the farthest table in the room with your group and whistle at me to get you another beer. Do you not see that I’m busy? Do you not think that it is rude to whistle at me, especially when I’m talking with my superior. You’re acting like construction men trying to get a pretty lady’s attention.

Eugh…men….

The Waitress

 
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Posted by on February 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

 
 
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